Anybody wanna help my mom not be scared of her new roses?
lyannastarknola
last year
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Bees Scaring Off My Hummies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comments (19)We have three feeders that we have kept filled this summer...we have a couple dozen hummingbird around and that is probably a low estimate. It sometimes seems a herculean job to keep the feeders full given the hot, dry, no rain, most everything that blooms has died or gone dormant kind of weather we have had up till this weekend when we actually had some substantial rain and cooler temperatures. We have a lot of mud dobbers that frequent out feeders...it is really pretty amazing that the hummingbirds sometimes wait them out to feed...it is almost like they understand that it is tough times and everybody will get to eat if they just stand in line. Now when it comes to the birds themselves...they are quite amazing...some are quite docile and sit and feed quietly...some sample from each spout and move on, some are ADD and act kind of paranoid, some have actually knocked others out of the way, some spread their tails out and act like they are in charge whatever that means to them...but the bottom line is that eventually we believe that they all are probably getting enough to eat and have figured out the pecking order for the bunch that lives around here...we have plenty of sugar to spare that we make their feed with since our peaches perished this summer with the drought. We will feed them till they take off for their winter vacation south. Anyway, we pretty much let nature take its course, just as if our feeders were flowers in nature, "he who gets there first...gets to eat". We hope our food pantry helps some if not all of them!...See MoreMy Mom Passed Away
Comments (18)Tara, it is just amazing how I can relate to your story as well. I was in Philadelphia on campus when I got a call from my sister at right about 5:00PM when she notified me of my mom's passing. And recently, I have been spending most of my time with my good friend who is also a Christian. I asked him how to convert someone into Christian if there's no "legitimate proof" that a non-christian would believe in. He told me that the proof is clear and its everywhere..it's just that we fail to recognize them. Well, I'm guessing 5:00PM is good! I'm not sure if I'm making any sense right now, but I believe that all of our moms are having a wonderful time right now, especially since we all have faith in Him. I think the best way to interpret the reason behind our mothers' early departure is to bring us closer to Him. I just read a verse in the Bible last night and it says that if you are able to give up anything for Him, even a family member, you will find eternal happiness in Heaven. My mom's passing reminds me of how much she loved me. Sacrifice is love I heard...how Son of God died for our sins. If I didn't have faith..I probably would have gone crazy. The more I try to understand Him, the less painful it gets. I know..it's hard to keep up with all of the prayers everyday...but try to think more about God and try to appreciate everything that has happened. Appreciate even the smallest thing, like a nice weather you know... It sounds crazy, I know, but everything really happens for the good of us. I wish I knew the exact answer to this but I'm sure He is putting us through such testimony to make us into someone better. Remember that we only have one chance in life... so make the best out of it to serve Him. And start going to church if you havn't....I have been really good about going to church since my mom's passing, but every week, I learn something new and something relevant. For example...we had an Easter prayer meeting last Friday and the pastor reminded us about His love and to love one another like how He loves us. He also mentioned to ask forgiveness (to someone you know...ie friends) if you did something wrong in the past. The following day, I was on AIM and saw my very first GF online. I told her I was sorry for what happened before and she actually said "it's okay it's past." It is just crazy...for EIGHT years, she has not said a word to me and has been ignoring me since I tried to talk to her after the breakup (I was a jerk...). I felt 100x better than what I was after being forgiven...So I strongly encourage everyone to keep their faith strong and try to go to church regularly. Going to Heaven is not all about going to church though...it's about your personal relations with God. I hope everyone is doing well and please KIT! This forum is also very helpful for me as well... GL with everyone!!!...See MoreImpatience with Dad after losing Mom, help!
Comments (6)Peacewalker Hello. It sounds similiar to my situation. My dad is gone 13 months now. He was the glue of our family. After he left I moved my mom in with me. They were married 39 years. She is still not herself. Anyway, after she moved in with me, I became very angry. here i was 35 married with 2 kids and on my own for years and now all off a sudden i was reporting to my mom. It wasnt a good thing. We all miss dad very much and it seemed to me that everytime i look at her i just remember that my dad is gone and never coming back and it hurts. My mom wont even stay in a house by herself now and I told her I cant be with her 24-7. I have a life and I am still grieving too. We faught and it seemed to me that she was walking on egg shells around me. It made us both very uncomfortable. She is now living with her sister and that seems better. I realized that my mom just doesnt want to be alone and really doesnt know how to be alone. When my mom was at my house, evertime I looked at her, all I thaught about is that my dad should be here too. Its not fair. I was mad. Well anyway its never easy to re-adjust your life after something like this happens. But in reality we still have to be there for each other. I talk to my mom daily on the phone and she comes to visit 2-3 times a week. Its hard seeing her alone. I dont know what is worse....losing a parent or watching the other parent being lonely. It all sucks. Just try to do the best you can. I dont think its really reporting to them...I think we are the only good thing left in there lives and they want to cherish every conversation they can. I cant even begin to imagine myself in my moms shoes. It has to be terrifying to realize your love of a lifetime is gone and now it only you all by yourself. Very scary thaught. Parents try to give there kids the freedom they need but I think when something like death happens.. it scares them and they just want to hold onto whatever it is that gives them comfort. And as you know, the kids are the ones who offer comfort. We are the only ones they can trust and confide in. The best advice I can give you is to take time out and call your dad. Just value what ever time you can. Someday they wont be here either. Best of luck to you....See MoreLosing my mom has made me rethink hanging onto papers
Comments (9)I started a post, and then hit a key and lost it all. Phooey. First, I'm sorry to hear about your mom. It sounds like your brother and you are at peace with your decision and your loss, which is a great gift, but it sure must be sad sometimes. I'm sorry. My mom and dad came to the same conclusion on the deaths of their last surviving parent. My mom's mom had graduallymoved to ever-smaller, ever-more restrictive quarters, so it was gradual. And my dad's dad tried, honestly he did. And, he moved a few states away to live w/ my aunt, so he and my dad were able to weed out quite a lot. They had the same reaction, and started to just get rid of stuff in their homes. Of course, that's been awhile now..... I think that's a great gift to give your own kids, Marie. I read a post (was it here?) in which a woman said, she'd told her adult DDs that when she passed away, they were free to throw away, give away, whatever, her "treasures" (she had a little box of keepsakes, odd stuff but sentimental to her), and her possessions, because they were intended for HER lifetime, and not beyond. That sounds like a good idea, too--to free your kids et al. of the notion that just because you owned it, they honor you by keeping it. When my DGM died, my aunt sent me some "sentimental" stuff--my mom was hooting. They were just the things she happened to own at that time--they weren't important. Bathroom accessories in a rose theme--well, DGM liked roses, but those were just what they had at JCPenney the last time DGM needed to buy those things. They weren't important! I have a cousin that was thinking of taking the fabric from DGM's stash (she was a big sewer) and making everyone in the family a teddy bear (shiver...). My mom pointed out, gently, that those fabrics didn't MEAN anything emotional to DGM; they were just what she happened to have at the time. Some of them, she may not even have picked out! She sewed for other people, lots of times. Some stuff of hers WAS important to me--I got the cookie jar, which to this day I treasure and which helps me think of her often. That's enough. You may help enough just by keeping your TRULY valuable papers in a really good place, the photos in another good place, and telling your kids they should throw the rest out without even looking at it. It's useful to you, not to them! Steve, I like what you said about "theater of the mind." But sometimes we keep stuff we don't really need to "replay." You can buy NEW magazines (please, buy new magazines, so I can have a job), new books, etc. There's not really a need to keep stuff. But, on to practical matters. That stuff you'd like to pass on? Get one of those accordion folders w/ the dividers (alphabet, or 12 months), and label each for one kid. Then you've got a place to put that stuff. Maybe label one "Understanding Grandma better" and put notes to yourself (I think those might be really nice for your descendents to see), etc. Things that would truly tell someone, years from now, what you were like. And then be ruthless. If you haven't looked at that vacation stuff, it won't matter as much. Maybe you'll find 2 or 3 things from each that are worth hanging onto--something that helps you get STARTED remembering the trip. That should be enough. As for scrapbooking, well, I guess I'm unAmerican because I really don't approve. Sticking stuff in scrapbooks to look at later, yes. Getting creative w/ precut stuff and fancy letters, no. So get a big binder, buy some of those plastic page protectors (some divided for smaller stuff, some full size), and stick stuff in there. Just get it out of a box and into a book you can page through. The heck w/ labeling anything, making fancy borders, etc. Just stick the brochures into the pockets. And maybe set an arbitrary limit--no more than 5 mementos from every vacation. Because honestly, your brain is very flexible, it'll remember. And nobody else wants to look at your vacation mementos, really. And be tough; try to picture your kids 10 years from now--will they care enough to want to look at it? Will YOU? Stuff that's less personal--politics (which changes constantly), decorating idea, etc.--toss and get fresh. As if you were checking out library books from life....See Morelyannastarknola
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