LOL Annie, little man liked that Michigan Sushi idea. I reminded him of his experience from the past year but he didn't seem to worry. When I asked him "What do you do when one of your friends tells you that you have bad breath?" He said, "I will say 'it's too bad that you don't eat fish.'" I am so proud! Jim, I have never tried lox myself so can't say if it will be less smelly or not. Since fish is one of our favorite foods we never have any leftover fish from the night before. Our mornings seem to be very short and we always end up rushing out of the door so canned fish is what we will settle with for now. Tami, little man has never tried mints before. I personally don't like them so I have a feeling that he may not enjoy a mint in his mouth. He loves tic tac. I bought him some tic tac in little colorful containers with the pop-up lid. So I won't have to worry about school people mistaken them as pills. Terri, lucky you. At least he can still take peanut butter to school. It's an absolute no-no to bring any nuts or anything that contain trace amount of nut to school. Little man loves peanut butter banana sandwiches. I don't want him to eat PBB sandwich every day but once in a while would be nice. I definitely will make the rolled fish bread for him tomorrow. In fact, we have already planned for the rest of the week... Thursday will be sardine sushi. Instead of using nori I will use sesame seeds on the outside. Friday will be BBQ seitan strips with raw carrot and cucumber. It's gonna be a good week for him. Al

Thanks so much for all your kind words. I was both very happy and very sad all day long yesterday. Happy because my son is doing what he wants to be doing and enjoying it very much, and that he was alive and healthy; sad because I worry so incredibly much about him over there and was wishing selfishly that he was safe back home again . . . that they all were. But, his unexpected call (just as I was typing the last words of my post here) was fantastic! We actually had a nice long chat. It was so good to hear his voice and to know that he was OK. Afterwards, I headed down to Albuquerque so that I could meet up with his birthmom near to her office. We had a great lunch at a place called Brava Bistro and while we ate (gazpacho and bruschetta . . .yumm!), I filled her in on family , DS's call and passed along the message that he'd be calling her later that evening so that he could talk to his (half)sisters, too. It was a good seeing her again. I love that she and DS look so much alike. Same coloring, same beautiful pale blond hair, same features, same smile. She and her two young daughters (she's divorced) have become like family to us over the years and have even spent some holidays here with us. I both love and admire her very much . . . plus, she's a lot of fun to be with! As usual, we had someone take a couple of pics of us to send to our (hers and mine . . . we share him now) son. But, please don't think I'm some kind of saint about all of this, I'm not. If she had turned out to be some nutcase, I wouldn't have this kind of arrangement with her. But, she's a wonderful, down-to-earth, very good person (awesome, actually) and everyone of us has benefited hugely from this openness and sharing. Anyhoo, it was a fun lunch. Below is a (cropped) pic taken of us at the restaurant. It shows my special ring. I had them take one to show DS I was wearing it once again. Lynn And here's a pic I took of DS on his first birthday. I gave his birthmom a copy of it. he had a Cookie Monster birthday cake, hence the bright blue icing. Not the greatest idea for a birthday boy in a white outfit (LOL!):

I appreciate the comments from everyone and your opinions based on limited information. As for the not communicating with BM. This woman does not have civil conversations. I can only think of two occasions where DH didn't go in circles with her until he had to hang up the phone - which is why most of the communication is handled via e-mail. The judge gave him primary custody and the ability to have the final say which says alot when everyone knew he was not the biological father. The school at one point said my ss was brainwashed by his BM and that is part of the court record. They actually expressed concern for her wellbeing because she was not acting like herself. Needless to say, she only gets him wed nights and every other weekend. DH has him the rest of the time. DH has been the parent and I support him, but my SS is at our home more than at her home. That was the court's decision, not mine. If she wants to be a part of his life when he is with us, she needs to step up and communicate with DH- she doesn't. I do not 'parent' the child in the typical sense. I do not make the ultimate decisions on the big things and in regard to talking to the instructor-well, I did try to talk to her civilly after SHE APPROACHED ME. I was sitting by my husband and minding my own business. I explained what happened to her, guess what, SHE DIDN"T WANT TO HEAR IT. Which is the only reason I pointed at my husband. She kept telling me I needed to discuss it with her....no I don't. I only need to discuss it with my husband. DH needs to discuss it with her. If she would have acted civilly, I would have tried to talk more with her...she wasn't there to do that. She was there to put me in my place and she was there for a fight. Have you ever seen someone in that fight or flight syndrome. I have- she had the look for fight and the stance. All I did was answer her questions in a calm voice even though I was blindsided by her daggers. I never called her a name, never raised my voice, never left my seat. When she was getting out of hand, I deferred to the person who had to deal with her for 10 years. Seemed like a pretty good idea to let someone who knows her, deal with her. Even her mother will tell you she was looking for a fight- not to have a civil conversation. Maybe one day we can talk civilly, but she never did with the step mother for her two older daughters. The daughters that refuse to talk to her except when forced to in counseling. Then she yells at them in the counseling sessions. My husband is the one ordered to deal with her, not me. So at this point, I refuse unless she is acting civilly. And I don't see that happening any time soon. And if you think we can talk in e-mails - think again. I've see the e-mails she sends to people. They are equally uncivil and mean. I do not take that at home, I will not take that from her. As for warning her about the police and order of protection- she cornered her own mother in the courthouse-with her son there- grabbed her by the arm and I had to call a bailiff to get her away. It took three of them to escort her back to the courtroom and she was still yelling back at her mother. She has told my ss she is going to commit suicide and told him she already tried once. Her husband refers to her as a suicidal b____. When someone has already show aggressive tendencies and when someone is suicidal- nobody can predict what they will do. She has also called my work before trying to get me in trouble and I warned them about this weekend also because she is just crazy enough to call and try something. I asked them to let me know so I can document the behavior if it happen- AGAIN! For those who think I'm wanting to be the parent of my SS- I try very hard not to overstep that boundary. My DH and I are constantly reminding him to call his mom or when he thinks we'll be upset about his talking about her, we assure him we won't and let him talk without reproach. We all know who the mom is except mom. And if she really had an issue with this outside of wanting to start fights with me- she should take her own son to the dentist instead of scheduling the appointment on DH's time knowing DH can't take him, she won't take him and I'm the one who will take him. She was pushing her parenting off to me...I can't really say-no, I'm not taking him to the dentist because my ss's tooth is hurting. He had a cavity because both biological parents were doing some poor parenting by not taking a cavity prone kid to the dentist in over two years. She didn't want to pay, and still hasn't paid her half, but I stepped up and took him and paid. Nobody on this forum has been in my shoes and can know about what is happening and I don't like this feeling of having defend ever small little thing when all I really wanted was a vent. I did nothing wrong. I don't want to communicate with an uncivil, emotionally unstable person. A person who has shown aggressive and self destructive tendencies. Maybe if she gets some therapy and shows some improvement in her interpersonal skills. Who knows, but now-no way will I take the risk of her verbal or potential physical abuse. By the way, where I live, her using profanity in that setting, is a crime and is punishable in the municipal courts. Now, I'm going to have to stop writing on this forum. This means of communication doesn't really work for me. I have found a support group locally and think the face to face- real conversations will be more beneficial. This picking a line and seeing how it can be disected and destroyed really seems to be causing more stress than anything. And the last thing I need right now is more stress. It's upsetting as this forum should do more good than harm, but there are obviously people with personal agendas. I don't mind some someone saying- maybe this is what is going on, but comments comparing me to a babysitter are just insane and cause my blood to boil. A babysitter doesn't have to handle the child when he comes home every other weekend angry and not himself. Nor do they have to handle the child who cries because their mother did or didn't do something, or the step father pointed a bb gun at him while the mother watched. A child so scared to go to his mom's house, he cries himself to sleep with both me and my DH stroking his back as his cries are so heavy he is losing his breath. I think I do more than babysit. Thank you for those who provide advise without the personal agenda- the ones who truly are trying to help- whether I agreed with your take on things or not. I really do appreciate your input. There are always new ways of looking at things and that can be a positive experience. I may peek in from time to time, but I think I'm out for now. For those who are interested- I spoke with the doctor today. He is willing to try the IVF procedure with my eggs with whatever limited supply I have. The chances are low, but there is a chance for a child with my genetic make up. Even if it doesn't work, at least we can say we tried and didn't just give up. If it doesn't work, we will likely try either donor eggs or adoption. We are beginning to look into adoption in preparation. Thank you for all your kind works regarding my dilema and I wish you all well.

Cawfe, I know - I'm wishing I never offered it. But, if it turns out that they aren't paying, I'll just pop up a sign and look for other tenants. It is HARD to get people out of a residence, however. I think once they're there and the check goes to ME not DH, they may think twice before skipping that payment. I hope so, anyway. Just need to be sure they all know that my house IS not an option for them anymore... Dana