what to do about bully rufous?
catwhiskas
18 years ago
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standard65
18 years agoalan_la
18 years agoRelated Discussions
Bird Bullies
Comments (31)Keesha, I really appreciate your 'starling 101' post above too. Your info about seed/feed types was very good. My feeders contain black oil sunflower, nyger and safflower - no corn or millet - and I was considering getting corn cob squirrel wheels, so it's good to hear they won't attract bad birds. Of course, the racoons and possums are a whole 'nother story! I've been feeding birds for six years now here and never had a starling flock until last week. First there was just one on the suet feeder, next day 21 - at least! - guess the first one was a scout. I took in the suet feeders and all was quiet for two days. Then we got a magical snowfall - 6" of beauty, rare here! - so I put the feeders back out for my regulars (including a couple types of woodpeckers who are such fun to watch!). Well, no joke, within 20 minutes the yard looked like a Hitchcock movie set - I've heard that birds have a highly refined sense of smell, this was proof positive! With snow on the ground, I left the suet feeders up ... starlings were piggy, but pretty well behaved, not beating up the locals whom I didn't want to be deprived. But, they did scoff up the suet at warp speed. Snow is gone now, the suet feeders are empty and I'm going to leave them that way for at least a week, in hopes the starling flock moves on. Here in the South, my suet feeders are only out for a short time - I'm more than a little ticked that this season I have to minimize that time frame ..... because of the darned starlings! :o(...See MoreRufous Hummingbird spotted 11/13 and 11/14/14
Comments (4)That's the second out of place rufous I've read about this week now. The first was captured by a rehabber and they were looking for a way to ship it.... I don't know if you can save yours or not, it's so early in the season. Here, during freezing weather, there are various things to do like keep back up unfrozen feeders and swap them out when the first freeze. Bring them in at night, set an alarm and get them back out at least a half hour before daylight in the morning (which is what DH chooses to do). Duct tape disposable hand warmer packets to them will help for approx. 6 hours. Christmas lights wrapped around the feeder can be enough heat to keep them thawed. Of course in my climate I'm talking about for a week or so a couple of times a winter where the annas regularly winter over - the syrup in the feeders will begin to freeze after a few hours at about 28F. I wish I knew how you might save yours, I wonder if there is a licensed rehabber available in your area. I think that's the only legal way to attempt to intervene. Here is a link that might be useful: Wayward Rufous this week too...See MoreMy Daughter The Bully
Comments (9)Not knowing what constitutes the "hit", could have been a push or something relatively non-violent but in any case it sounds like you did an outstanding job of parenting Jannie, before, during and after the incident. Any kid can lash out in desperation when frightened or threatened. She was frustrated and being shy and introverted there was probably some workings on improvement and assertion, which in itself is good, just came out wrong. Sounds like the school deserves a commendation too for working with you and giving you a chance, you took the reins and dealt with it and she learned from the experience. By learning better ways to deal with assertion she's apparently grown up benefiting from the situation. Kudos to all of you. And FWIW, the one who stole the hat, well... to a point had it coming! :D And I'll bet he learned a lesson too!...See MoreShould I contact the parents of the kid my son bullied?
Comments (12)Stephanie, I understand your confusion, and agree that it is not a true bully / victim situation. However, I really think that what my son did was over the line, and wanted to be sure he realized it, too. If they were playing out in the yard, I would have handled it differently, but there are different rules for the yard than for school, and he is old enough to save any roughhousing for after school. I don't know what, if any, punishment the other boy received, and truthfully, I'm not even sure it matters. Ds has never complained about "MJ", so what reason would the school have for punishing him? When the asst principal first talked to ds, ds only said that they were playing around - didn't mention the pencil-poking until later when he talked to dh. What I wanted ds to get out of this, is reinforcement of something he learned years ago with my niece. My boys and their friends all play rough with each other, and know not to expect any sympathy from me if they get bruised while wrestling or playing dodge ball. But when my niece would come over, ds would play with her the same as he plays with his friends, she would screech, and he would get in trouble (because she had made it clear that she was not interested in their games). Pretty soon she would screech whenever he came anywhere near her - I think just for the fun of getting him in trouble. So I told him, I know that she is overreacting, but I can't defend you if you have so much as touched her. So just stay clear of her, and then you'll never be in trouble. I know it isn't exactly fair that he has to walk on eggshells around her, but in life he'll find there are always a few people who don't play by the same rules he does, and I wanted him to be able to differentiate between who is "safe" and who is not. To me this is nearly the same situation - the school makes it clear that students are not to touch each other, but he did it anyway and paid the price. Yes, the other kid seems to have changed the rules between himself and ds midstream, which is unfortunate, but still, I really don't feel that I can defend ds' behavior here - he has to be responsible for what he does regardless of what anyone else did. Probably will not call "MJ"'s mom, though - your comments made me realize that there is really nothing I can say to improve what will be an uncomfortable situation. "MJ"'s mom will eventually see ds out playing with his friends enough to realize he is not a big bad bully :)...See Morecatwhiskas
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