when guests help cook
still_lynnski
13 years ago
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byronroad
13 years agolast modified: 9 years agoplllog
13 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
Don't you hate it when guest ask?
Comments (21)dayenu makes a really good point about breakfasts. I don't know what it is about breakfast -- maybe because we so often eat it alone? -- but it seems to be so idiosyncratic; the meal where we are most likely to eat something no one else wants, and the meal we are least likely to feel adventurous. A lot of people eat the same breakfast every day, or at most choose from a limited list; how many of us do that for lunch or dinner? Same for different menus; we sit down to the same dinner, but at breakfast, we each do our own thing. And some people hear "breakfast" and think of eggs, some want only bread or cereal and fruit, some want vegetables or fish, some want last night's leftover chicken, some want the last piece of pie, some can't handle anything but coffee and juice ... and NO ONE wants to have to discuss it. Plus, as a guest, I don't want to be putting my hosts to trouble when they may be hurrying out the door for work or otherwise trying to get through their morning routines (which, likewise, we don't like to have disrupted). It's hard to know how to be polite in that situation, because trying not to make work can actually be the most exasperating to the host. When I am the host, it used to be so awkward: "What can I fix you for breakfast?" "Oh, anything." "Well, I make really good omelettes -- how about an omelette? I have cheese, mushrooms, and onions." "Oh, no, not eggs." "Well, how about a bagel, or some cereal, or some cottage cheese?" "Oh, just anything." "Would you like juice? I have grapefruit, orange, and tomato." "Any kind; I don't care." [Honestly, now! Of course they care! But *I* don't care what kind of juice THEY drink -- I just want them to give me an answer so I can get on with it!] As you can see, this goes nowhere fast. It drives me, as the host, crazy, but I know that my guest is really trying not to put me to any trouble. Even worse is when they say, "I'll just have whatever you're having." BIG mistake -- good chance I'm having no-fat cottage cheese and a bowl of Cheerios and granola with skim milk, or maybe some leftover kasha. That would probably come as a big surprise! But if I just go ahead and make and serve a breakfast, the way I might just go ahead and make dinner and serve it without consulting the guest on the menu, that can be really bad -- even a breakfast that's a treat for some people is a real ordeal for the poor person who is accustomed to only coffee in the morning. It's just so much harder to be a good guest and eat what's put in front of you at breakfast time. I COULD just put out everything I can think of and let them serve themselves, offering to make eggs, pancakes, or whatever, too. That's what I do if there is a big crowd (usually a bunch of teens), especially if they will be wandering into the kitchen at different times and levels of fogginess. But for real houseguests, I have learned to do what dayenu does: I ask them in advance, "Tell me what you like to eat for breakfast -- it's so personal, and we each eat something different in the mornings anyway." They start to say, "Oh, anything -- " but then they "get it" and tell me. They and I both appreciate not having to try to find something we both want to eat or to do a complicated minuet about trying not to inconvenience each other -- especially not first thing in the morning!...See MoreFood, cooking, and guests
Comments (70)Snidely, I didn't say I wouldn't provide. I have done, and will in the future. I said it was rude to ask IF it makes a distraction for the hosts, because it makes them disappear into the kitchen just when they want to be saying their final words to the guests. The considerate guest considers the inconvenience before making a request. And if he has such a long ride that he will be consumed by thirst on the journey, he should keep supplies in the car. If he's going to be considerate. Re leftovers, it has been said repeatedly. The hostess makes enough so that everyone will have an ample and filling dinner, but knows not everyone will eat so much, so she can count on not cooking the following day. She'll gladly give that up to make sure everyone at the table is pleasantly full, but the guests should not ask her to give up her day off of cooking so that they themselves can have a second day off. And it's okay for her to let them know, nicely, what her plan is. In the situation FOAS posited, the considerate guest can say, "I have enough, but if you're trying to get rid of it, I'd be happy to take some home." That makes it easy for the hostess to say either, "Thank goodness! I thought I'd be staring at that for a week!" or "That's okay. I'm going to feed it to the family after church if there's any left."...See MoreCooking for guests?
Comments (65)Those toddlers are a hand full when you aren't used to them, aren't they. A friend proudly brought his grandchildren over a couple of weeks ago and they were cuter than cute. And I wiped up hand and mouthprints for a couple of days, glass topped kitchen table, leather furniture, floor to ceiling windows one wall of my living room ;0) I'm glad your dinner party worked out well. That must be a tough job for your granddaughter with daddy serving and away!...See MoreWhen and how did you learn to cook?
Comments (64)My mom was a good 'meat and potatoes' cook. She didn't bake much, never anything with yeast. In fact, it was a joke in her family that everyone had an inability to ever make yeast anything. I finally broke the curse by learning how to make bread. I moved (after marriage) to a very small town and became acquainted with a couple of LDS women who taught me all I needed to know in order to bake with yeast. One of them grew wheat, so I had a supply of wheat and bought a grinder so I would even grind my own flour. Those days are over, but I loved it when I finally mastered yeast baking. My mom taught me how to make the food she prepared and from early teens I could cook all our standard meals. I never ventured out of that realm, didn't look at recipes, etc. I had a high school friend who made delicious pies and she taught me pie baking, but I didn't waver much more than that from Mom's cooking. Then I started babysitting for a woman who made more interesting food - she had a real flair and even everyday things seemed elevated under her touch. I really love it and became very interested in cooking as she did, so when I married, I really branched out into more adventurous culinary territory. I am fairly experienced, but I cook mostly from recipes. I don't have a knack for tossing things together and knowing it will be delicious. But I do have a knack for finding recipes that really work for me. Great combinations, visually attractive and delicious. I love perusing recipes and searching for just the right one. I'm not afraid to make substitutions, but generally follow the recipe pretty closely. If I were learning to cook now, I would suggest finding every video you can of Ina Garten cooking. She is so accomplished yet down to earth and really walks you through how to made a dish. Nothing is too complicated and it's always delicious. (Just cut down on the salt, lol). Her cookbooks are wonderful....See Moreweedmeister
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