At a minimum, you should receive a text or email acknowledgement and thank you, especially in this age where mail and packages sometimes do not reach the intended recipient.

You can not control what other people do. If you give gifts it must be to people you care about, right? You happen to care about people who have different ’manners’ then what you expect. That’s all.

No laws are broken, no young child is hurt by someone not sending a Thank You. Which makes it no big deal in my way of thinking. A received note is always a nice extra.

About 2 years ago, I received a wonderful gift from members of this forum. I had no names or addresses of where to send Thank You notes. So none were sent. I still feel guilty for not sending them. But that is me.

If you want to blame the new graduates for not knowing to send a note, maybe start with blaming whoever raised them?

This insult has been worked over here a few times over the years. To not properly thank someone ANYONE for a gift is just rude. It doesn't matter what the circumstances a thank you is warranted and too many need to just get it done!! Sadly if you wait for it, you will be waiting all too long these days. I would like to blame the parents but I know better than to think people don't veer from how they were taught!

I was really surprised when the school my grandson went to, starting in about the 4th grade, taught the students how and when to send thank you notes. It was a private school with very involved parents, so I suspect they would also be taught at home, but it was a nice exercise, I thought.

I would like to confront and criticize the parents and gift recipients.

I am thinking about withholding gifts, maybe giving a gift a month or so later.

Rather than confrontation, a little light shaming might work better, along the lines of "I sent a gift for x occasion, but never heard from you/little Murgatroyd. Perhaps it got lost in the mail?"

I do not want a confrontation.. I plan to not send $$ this year….

The checks are cashed, but the parents make a lot of money.

Oly, they can sign it. It only becomes a thing if it is contested by the gift giver.

I too have noticed this. I'm not even wanting a written snail mail. An email or text is fine.

Sometimes I give a unique gift or I might be very generous. You just to be part the excitement,

A Mat, what would happen if you don’t send a gift? Will they confront you?

For whatever reason we used to send $100 for Christma to DH’s niece and kids. We also send gifts for the kid’s birthday. We do getvtext’s back for those. But hit or miss forbChristmas.

I stopped giving the Christmas. They have never sent us a gift for any occasion.

Do what you feel right for you.

Please don't blame the parents. The only thank you cards I get are for bridal shower/wedding, & baby shower gifts. The rest are in person with a hug and thank you.

How close are you to the recipient? If you're close then I'd be angry and eventually get around to asking if they got your check? If you're also close to the parents you can ask them if Bozo received the check, or say, "Has he EVER RECEIVED ANY OF MY CHECKS!?" lol

I wouldn't send a check either and don't feel guilty.

We don't do much gift giving any more - no kids, no grandkids, etc. I stopped the gift giving to niece's children when I never received an acknowledgement which should have come from the parents as the kids were too young at the time. We are not close to this family so I'm sure gifts from us are not missed and they want for nothing so fewer gifts is not a hardship. We also give wedding gifts and in those cases it's a one-time gift giving occasion so if no acknowledgement is forthcoming so be it.

Oakley, the parents need to teach thr child to write thank-you notes and up to a certain age, see that they write them.

I do not think the kids know who funded their gifts..Time for me to stop sending money for gifts.

I think in the olden days, a gift mattered, it did to me..today not so.

bummer for me, trying to make a relative happy.

When you send money as gifts, are you sending checks or cash cards in the mail? If so, they are often stolen in route.

My mother got to the point where she would include a self-addressed stamped envelope with a thank you note for gifts she sent her grandson and still got no thank you notes.

I gave all of my grandchildren a box of thank you note cards one year, as they were not forthcoming with them. It worked. At least back then! It's time to repeat my blatant reminder, as I refuse to adjust to this sloppy modern way of thinking that thank you notes are not needed in this day and age. Yes, I am an Emily Post girl from way back, and proud of it. So shoot me!

You know A Mat perhaps you could refocus your energy and money to gifts for underprivileged children. You still probably won't get a thank you, but you'll know you made the difference in a child's life or at least his or her holiday experience. And they will likely really appreciate it.

Maddlielee,

Don't be silly. You thanked us!

Plus I don't think Emily Post had any established protocol for random gifts from internet strangers! I like doing it and along with many others here.💕

As for the larger issue, it is disappointing.

My mom took to sending checks..that way she figured she would at least KNOW if they got the 'gift'. It didn't work. Most never got cashed. Our gifts aren't needed--it's a new world. LET IT GO!!

I used to think a written thank you note was the right thing to do. I still think it's the right thing, but in this day, I've adjusted to think that while written ( like with US Mail) is preferred, I also know the mail has "issues". Lots of them. So I'm good when I receive an email, a text, or even a verbal thank you. I do think a thank you in some form is the right thing, and not asking too much. I was rasied that way and I raised my kids to do the same. The grands are too young, but are aware that when they receive anything, they say thank you.

This just reminded me that we went to a wedding in late January and have not gotten any acknowledgement. Yes, the check was cashed.

I may just ask when we see the parents of the bride ( we really have no contact with the bride) if they got our check.

I like Bookwoman's suggestion or any of those inquiring if the gift was received.

I send them. My sister sat her children down and taught them. I get few hand written thank you notes these days but I'm OK with a Thank You phone call. I am not OK with no acknowledgement at all.

A few years ago my sil included us in a dinner cruise hosted by them to mark their anniversary. I sent her a thank you note for including us and telling her how much we'd enjoyed the evening. She was almost in tears of appreciation, said no one else had bothered. It does still matter even if the gift is not given with the expectation of thanks. (tell the youngsters in your life, they may have lost track of the importance of common courtesies which will never be out of style 😊)

While not perfect etiquette, when I give a gift in person, the real time acknowledgement works for me. Otherwise, a thank you is appreciated, at the very least I want to know that the gift made it to it's destination.

As taught by my mom and taught to my childern, we send a thank you for gifts and for being included in a dinner, party or hosted evening out. We also bring hostess gifts, as appropriate.

Whenever I see this thread pop up I think someone is asking about No Thank You cards and I try to imagine for what occasion you'd send a No Thank You card, lol.

If you have to be thanked, maybe you shouldn't give gifts. (And I think most people know if a gift was received--especially if the recipient is a relative.) Sure, thank you notes are lovely to receive, but my joy is in giving the gift--not receiving a thank you.

I also thought it was going to be about "No, Thank You" and had decided that Hallmark probably had cards to send for when you wanted to politely decline an invitation.

Have you checked on FB? I see all sorts of photos with thank yous on FB. It has always struck me as crass, but it is a different world, these days......