wow....a lot of reading for the mind and soul during insomnia. So many ideas and so many things to think of..... This post just reiterates more that we are all products of our "families" and our experiences. The bad comes with the good and we grow and we hope to make the best of it and for some....I suppose the main goal is to not repeat some things that have damaged us the most. Brings us to the OP and the reason for custom homes. We all have a dream of the way we want to live and how we want our dream home to be a part of that life. I understand that most downsize to below a 2000 sq ft ranch. That doesn't mean it has to be done that way. I'm not trying to sound ridiculous or anything, but is it more a modern thing for people to down size or is it regional? It seems I know very few who have done this. My Grandparents just closed off their cellar and upstairs and lived in the main-level. They made adjustments when needed to the bathroom. I suppose it must be more modern as farmers used to stay in there homes and their family would move in and care for them. Nowadays I know a lot of farmers who give the "home place" to their youngest and then build a new "retirement" place for themselves. Just wondering?!?! Anyway....I'm from rural, farm country and where most have large families and super extended families. Most of my friends and family were raised in ranch homes or simple 2 story homes. Average sq ft being 1800-2100, often with a semi-finished rec room in the basement. The trend with my parents, their friends and our family is that they usually stay in the home until they pass away or a few go into a nursing home. I can honestly say that all 10 Aunts/Uncles and many family friends have added onto their homes in their 50's or early 60's. Actually 1 moved instead:). They all wanted a larger "gathering" room and built on for that reason. Many (prior to building on) used the lower-level rec room for this and then just for reason of stairs, location to kitchen and bathrooms, aesthetic, etc had added on to accommodate. So, they were all adding onto their homes, when I suppose many would think they were getting closer to downsizing. They all now approaching mid 70's and some into their 80's and are still in their added on homes. We have just found over the years that when a hall or other place is rented out for a holiday, etc....our family loses it's closeness. All the cousins arrive, eat and leave. We have found it more inviting, relaxing, etc to have it in the home where we can hang, relax and gather for hours. So, if you don't want people for hours, rent a place with tables and folded chairs or go to a restaurant :-) My parents actually were the ones who built a new place 2 years ago. They had owned acreage/wooded for years. They originally built a cabin on it and found themselves spending so much time there, they decided to build. Oh, we were so against the idea, everyone was! Too far out, too far from hospitals, too much land, too much too much. My dad said everyone thinks we are crazy, but it is what WE WANT, do you think we really haven't thought about all these things.....we will sell and move again if and when it becomes too much. So, they did what they wanted and they are thrilled. It is a smallish ranch with an open floor plan and a guest bedroom for occasional grand kids sleep overs. However, they have a large family room that is very cozy most of the time. They have the furniture placed in a groupings with large walk-ways all around. For Christmas it takes 2 people to move their one couch to open the room up and make room for all. And there solution to host really large parties was a "finished garage." They finished the walls with drywall and had breadboard added all around below the chair rail. They added cabinets and a counter top with electrical (crockpots etc) and a refrigerator. They have ceiling fans, highly insulated, and a nice epoxy (???) floor. They have a half bath directly inside the house from the garage. It is party ready just by backing the cars out. Of course they have an out building for all the junk that most people would have in their garage. What they didn't know is that it is the younger grandchildrens favorite place. It works out lovey when the young ones are out there....we pull out some old cars and trucks and they go crazy and then the adults can converse and hear each other. So, just to mention a few ways that many others have actually added to their homes in order to manage growing families. Personally, in our new build....we added on a huge dining room with surrounding wrap around covered porch and hope to be able to entertain large numbers in this space for many years. OP...I do wish you the best with your new home and your family is lucky to have you and a wonderful place to spend with you!

This isn't as easy as just saying, "Let's make the doors wide enough for a wheelchair". Consider: - What's easier than a large door? NO door. Obviously you want a door on your bedroom and bathroom . . . but look for places where you can ELIMINATE unnecessary doors; for example, extra doors in overly-compartmentalized bathrooms are a nighmare for people with walkers or wheelchaiars. Or, a compromise: Pocket doors, which you can leave open if mobility becomes a problem in the future. - If you find your doors aren't large enough, you can switch the hinges and get an extra 2" or so -- what're they called? Swing away hinges? - Remember that oversized doors take away space from furniture placement. If you're building a compact plan, this may matter to you. You are unlikely to end up using a wheelchair full-time, yet that's what people seem to plan for. More likely scenerios: - You're more likely to lose mobility due to the natural aging process rather than an accident. - You're more likely to need a cane than anything else. - You're more likely to need a walker than a wheelchair. - You're more likely to use a walker in the house and a wheelchair when you leave the house. - If you're using a wheelchair or wheelchair just for outings, do you have a spot by your everyday entrance where you can store your apparatus? These are big items to leave laying about. - If you're in a wheelchair only temporarily (or only for outings), you're likely to have an inexpensive manual chair; whereas, if you're in a wheelchair permanantly, you're probably going to spend on an electric chair. The electric chair is more narrow and needs less doorway space. - Walk-in closets and pantries are very popular, but will you be able to maneuver inside them if you need a walker or a wheelchair? Don't skimp on floorspace. - Garage doors matter too: If you end up in a wheelchair, you'll probably downsize to one vehicle. If you have ONE big garage door instead of two small ones, you'll be able to park in the middle of the garage and make use of the extra space to enter the vehicle. - Even if your garage entry is zero-degree entry, install grab-bars on both the inside and the outside. My grandmother had them, and they made an amazing difference for her. - Your floors may be more important than your doors -- they were for my grandmother, both for her walker and for her temporary wheelchair. A change from linoleum to carpet can cause a fall. Keeping your floors 100% flat is worth some effort. - Steps are an extension of your floors. Put effort into having at least one covered entrance (preferably your most convenient door, probably the one from the garage) that has no steps.

Aging in place" is a general catch-all phrase that is not realistic as you won't know your actual needs as you age. You think you can plan but realistic those things that you do may not be enough or overkill in the long run. I've been going through this with both my elderly parents and my partners who are in their mid 80's. Both sets still live in their homes but both have very different needs for aging in place. To have outfitted their homes for "aging in place" earlier in their lives would not have necessarily met their needs now or would have been overkill. What we've done to help them age in their home has been done as they needed it. Grab bars for my parents, not my partners. Rug removal for my mom's walker, rugs still are down in the other parents home. Hand rails added at entrance at one parents home. I don't see these as "aging in place" but to address their current actual needs. My partners parents live in a 3 level home but at 87 yrs old they can still manage the stairs. They built this house in their mid 70's and when we discussed aging in place during the build, they told us that if they got to the point of not being able to use their house, they would move. They were more concerned about building the home they wanted and not concerned of what "may" happen in the future. A few years back I was going to build a home with "aging in place" in mind. To achieve this, this included, bathrooms basically doubling in size and wider hallways to accommodate a wheelchair, if necessary, and zero steps in the garage to the house. Realistically if you want a "AIP" home, isn't this really a home that addresses the same issues as a home for a person with disabilities, especially with one to accommodate a wheelchair, so are we just trying to reinvent the wheel or just adding a fancy name to it? My take away from my experiences is that if you want a home for "aging in place" have a single story house and deal with the rest when the time comes. As you may find later on that you what you thought your needs and wants would be for when you got older are no longer the same. You may find yourself wanting a different type of life style and/ or house situation or even a different city or state. Active Senior Retirement Community or condo, anyone?

We are fortunate enough to have two homes--a southern place for the winter and a northern place for the summer. Our northern place has hardwood floors with tile in the bathrooms, and our southern place has high end LVP throughout along with porcelain tiles in our lanais. We have a heated bathroom floor in the north, and it's lovely to step on it on those cold winter days. But, I don't know if I would want a whole house of tile. The rest of the house is real hardwood, and that would be my first choice because it is timeless. When we did a kitchen addition 30 years ago, we investigated the idea of heated hardwood floors (we installed true site-laid lumber floors). At that time heated hardwood wasn't recommended, so we put in the maple kitchen floors (the rest of the house is also hardwood floors) and did regular radiators rather than in-floor heat. I think now the thoughts have changed on in-floor heat with wood. I would seriously investigate the idea if I were you. This would be my first choice, and I have not had any issues with having hardwood in the kitchen. We had the kitchen floor refinished once in 30 years. In the southern place we have the mix of high end LVP and porcelain tiles. (Definitely don't need heated floors here.) I like the padding that the LVP provides, and personally I like the look better than porcelain. I got a non-trendy LVP design that looks extremely realistic. I like it a lot, but no one yet knows if LVP truly will hold up for 30 years. Also, have you thought about a house full of porcelain being an echo chamber if it doesn't have any rugs to break the noise up? We too know all about rugs as trip hazards; it's the throw rugs that are more risky than large area rugs. I chose white marble look porcelain with minimal veining for two baths and one lanai. The master bath, closet and lanai have a gray patterned porcelain. I like the look, but it definitely shows every little piece of dirt much more than the LVP and requires much more constant attention. For aging in place, my vote is for minimal maintenance. Plus, the reality is that even porcelain tile has style trends as far as size and appearance, and at some point you'll be able to pinpoint the era in which the tile was installed. I'm in my 70s, quite fit, much more active than most of my peers with no arthritis problems. I could stand to lose a few pounds of chubbiness, but I am not excessively overweight. In your situation I would install real hardwood floors.